It has been about two months since first landing on the pennisula. I have seen and experienced a lot. This place is always changing. It reminds me of a scene from Pochantas where she is paddling down the river singing about how you never see the same river twice, meaning it's always changing and never the same. Being here I see the same places but I feel that it's never the same. To me, this can be a very exciting and challenging experience.
Recently I had experienced a lot of stress and frustration build up. It got to the point to where it was almost consuming my thoughts. I would walk to work thinking this would be an awful day, and I just know that I am going to do something wrong and get in trouble. I finally told someone, and talked to a Chaplin. Talking to the chaplin was the best thing I could do. I put my faith in God, and listened to what the chaplin was telling me. He put things in perspective, and really shined a new light on my situation which helped me understand my role. I was having a hard time grasping why I couldn't do things others around me could do. He responded to me by saying " If I knew and could do what they did, I would not have two stripes." He's right, I wouldn't. I think I was putting unreal expections on myself and found it devistating when I didn't meet or exceed those expections. My job now is to ask questions and lots of them! I get paid to do that. Going back to work after talking with him, had a positive effect. I found myself not taking it so harsh when I did make a mistake; it's ok I'm not perfect, nor do I want to be. I just want to be proficient at what I do and do it well! I am still learning a lot and I want to learn more.
At times, work can seem overwhelming and tends to have long hours. I can only hope in the future that I can learn to manage stress levels, and remember God is in control, and doesn't give me anything I couldn't handle. I thank him for allowing me to have caring people in my life who are willing to help me and be there for me when I need them. My friends, and family and people of the church have helped me, and one day when I am needed for one of them I hope that I am able to help them in the way they took the time to help me. I couldn't be without them in my life, so thank you Lord for letting me know such amazing people!
